"Your My Everything, Your All I Ever Wanted."

So I went to Ben's Party after hours of trying on Clothes, Testing out various makeup styles and fixing my hair.

It was absolutly wonderfull.

There were a few awkard moments but still they were great.

I'll start from the begining.

My mom decided to stalk me, Which had me uneasy from the start. We got to the meeting spot super early and I Starting wandering around. After a few minutes I bumped into Dani, Ben's Girlfriend. We talked and she showed me the huge (and yummy) cake she baked for him and my heart melted...

I would have done the same for him.

She also showed me the present box she made for him, it was too cute. I left her and brought my mom back to meet her and sent my mom off on her way. A few minutes pass and another one of our friends show up and we just start cracking jokes and being silly. We started talking about How my boyfriend David could be counted on to be late when hanging with friends but super early when it one on one with me. Eariler I had told him not to be late because it just made me feel sad and true to his word he arived just a minute before the offical time.

I basicly just ran and glomped him then dragged him back towards everyone with a silly grin.

Then Ben arived in his typical "Stalk me" fashion. He sat down and Dani gave him her gift which he opened quickly and here where weird moment number one occurs.

His kisses Dani smack on the lips.

Moment number 2 occurs when one of our friends makes a comment (Jokingly) that interacial couples scare him. Dani(whos white) and Ben Kiss again and Ben starts pushing for David to kiss me...

We just laughed it off..

Truth is, we'd never kissed eachother before. I've been wanting to for a while now but I never knew how to go about it with him.

So futher along more friends come and David lends me his earphones since I was too lazy to go get mine from where I left my bag and I start jamming to My favorite J-Pop band Perfume.

Now you must know, I love music. Id die without it, it shapes my world. And with my love of music come my love of dancing.

So while jaming I read out and grab 2 plushies and start making them dance with me. My friends are pretty used to my random dance move but I guess this was a whole new level for them. Ben started bothering me and telling me to put them away but I just ignored him and kept dancing. Then suddenly he just stood up and came over to me and towered over me.

I promptly took a picture of him and poked him.

He didn't say anything and then we ended up having one of our staring bouts. In the begining we used to do this alot but around the time he figured out I liked him Id just became a bit shy and backed down a bit but today I looked at him full on.

For months I told myself that if a moment like this came again that I'd tell him how sorry I was for ruining everything but nothing came. I just started blinking alot and then for a moment his eyes seemed to sparkled and I offhandedly asked if he was wearing contact lenses. We stared for a bit more and then he broke off looking a bit insecure.

Later on while we were getting ready to leave I stole a hat from one of my friends and Ben started running after me. I was going good since I had on my running shoes but then he "accidentaly" Wraped his hand around my long hair and pulled...

"Why!" was the first world I screamed before he hugged me and said "Im sorry but it's too long, it's too long, it's just blowing behind you, Im sorry"

I just stormed off and left him with the hat.

On the train when we were going to our destination I started to mess with his hair a bit. He let me and I messed with it some more and all the memories came back to me. I compared his hair from the first time I touched it to now and was just stunned at how accuratly I could tell the differance. I didn't comment on this because I was weary of him not being happy with it. Around the time we started breaking off he started getting annoyed with me touching his hair but now he really enjoyed it and he asked why I didn't ask him to mess with his hair anymore.

"Um, you didn't want me too.."

"Hn, you didn't ask..."

I just let it go and countinued on.

Now on the train one of my friends (Who I call my daughter) Tried to give me a kiss on the cheek while we were on the train and she accidentaly kissed me on the lips..We laughed it off but then she pushed mine and Davids faces together and we kissed but it was wierd and so I asked him if we could try again and he obliged. So ta da! Our first kiss after 3 months?? Oh well.

Thing is Ben was standing right in front of us when it happened and when I looked at him he promptly looked away and started calling for Dani...

Normally I don't expect hugs from Ben because he brushes me of most of the time but this time as I left the train I didn't even have to ask him. He just pulled me and hugged me.

Now, not everything I've said happen in order and there are so much else that happened that I just can't write about because it's so much but the main summery is that the feelings Ben and I shared that I thought were gone forever are still there. And In fact I saw just why he decided to hook up with Dani.

She reminds him of me.

She likes a majority of the same music as me, we both do alot of the same weird things. I actually like her, and in different circumstance I think We'd be the best of friends. but yeah....Main thing is that I can now have some hope that maybe one day We'll be together. One day we'll have our time.

I love my friends....Without them I don't know what Id do.