Terracotta Angel: An Introduction of sorts

Hello, I am Lady Strange, today that is. I have a habit of changing names often to fit who I feel like at the moment.

I usually don't revel my age anywhere but for the sake of this blog I'll tell you my age this one time, but any mention of my age outside this post done by me unless it corresponds to what was said here is a lie. Im 16 years old and 7 months...Almost 17. I was Born January 11 1993, on a Very snowy Monday. Fair of Face and all that Jazz.

Im a nice and tall 5 foot 8 inches...The Minimum Modeling Height, and yes I have been scouted many times by many agencys but most notable are Ford Models and New Faces. However My parents scoff at the idea of modeling so my hopes were shot down. However this is one reason behind my new plan. My beautiful new plan. Want to know more about it, well listen up good.

I admit it. Im fat. Im so fucking fat it's not even funny. My height and body shapes balances the fat very evenly on my body but still who the hell want to see fucking 175 pounds when they go on a scale.

I realized I had hit a low point when I hit 190 lbs. I vowed from that day on to never ever in my life weigh that much again...I looked so bad in everything. I was so fucking ugly. My atrative face couldn't save me as it did in the past because I was just so fat. Now Im 175. But years ago when I first became weight consious. I went on a special program. I forgot how much I weighed but I went from a size 16 to a 6 and weighed 160 lbs at the end of it and I was in bliss. People have no idea how it feels to not have all that fat dragging you down.

Well anyway, the program ended and I ended up gaining 10 pounds and then yo-yoing between 160 and 170 since that point. I haven't weighed over 180 for a long while and I'll tell you this much the day I do or even get close, I'll do what ever it takes to get rid of it...fast.

Because of my frame and height I've set 2 goals to reach. First off I want to get from my curent weight to 150 lbs. If I feel happy at 150 Lbs (which I doubt) I'll drop to between 120-140 and thats it. My body has beautiful curves that I like so I don't want to be too skinny and lose them but I want to weigh less than my boyfriend. I want to be able to wear his clothes and have them fall off me, I want him to be able to just sweep me up instead of making an effort. Haha, that is when I get a boyfriend. Im single currently but thats not gona be for long if I have my way.

Im also a diabetic, so a big factor in why it's 10x harder for me to loose weight is because of the insulin. It make you gain and hold weight. I was very depressed about taking insulin at first, to the point that I just stopped taking it and then Out of now where I lost alot of weight. I found this out by accident but then when I reasearched it more I found out that alot of people reduse their insulin in order to lose weight..Now it's actually a bad thing to do and has very bad side effects that even I had to go through but when you see how nice you look in the mirror it just washes all that away.

Im bad, I hate needles so I don't take my insulin as I should. Im trying too but after years of neglect it;s a hard habit to kick. Im scared of gaining weight, but I also hate insulin reactions. So now Im trying to eat low sugar foods so I don't have to take insulin so often. My A1C Level is 15 and thats really bad. Im trying to get it to a low end normal range buy this time Next year. I don't want complications. I now have my reason to live.

I have though of dieing. I even tried to over dose on insulin but these are stories for another time. My new reason to live is that Im almost free from my parents, I gona be able to get a boyfriend soon, collage, and so much more.

Now, Im a bad blogger. I don't update like I should and what not like I used to do in the past. But I want to make this blog work for me. I have too! This is my life!

I named this blog "Teach Me How To Drown" after I beautiful picture I saw by a person nicknamed Blue Black on DeviantArt with the same title. I can't find it anymore but gosh that picture changed me.

Im also aware of the song by Unto Ashes but eh...My focus is on the picture. If you ahppen to have a copy saved on your drive....Get to contact with me and please send it to me...

I'll tell you more about me later but right now Im sleepy. I should also tell you that Im a Vampire. Fangs and All.. Rarw!

~Lady Strange, Your Terracotta Angel.