[Weight & Food Diary]
Today's Weight:
Goal Weight: 150lbs
Todays Food
Breakfast: Pancakes, eggs
Lunch:
Dinner: Banquet Chicken nugget meal
Snacks (All Day): 2 packs Hi Chew
Daily Calorie Budget: 1328
Todays Total: 850
+____________________________________________________+
Hmmm, good day today..well more so avarage...Im not big on eating lunch so my main meal are always breakfast and dinner but i do alot of snacks in between....Im trying to ease myself into the ABC diet rather than just jump into it. However tomorrow Im runing my dinner by eating my beloved Chicken gyro...well not really..It's about 200 cal which is not bad for the size. I can fit it in but that means no Hi Chew. Today would have been around 450 cal if not for the Hi chew so boo~
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Reasons Survey
PEOPLE -
[] ask if I’m bulimic
[x] call me fat
[x] say I’m skinny
[x] say I’m ugly
[x] say I’m pretty
[] spread rumors about me
[x] force me to eat
[x] say I eat too much
[x] wish I’d eat more
[?] don't know I'm anorexic/bulimic
I WISH -
[x] I was THIN
[x] I had a better body
[x] I didn't have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[] I was under 100 lbs
[x] I could avoid food
[x] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was pretty
[] I could stop being ana/mia
I LOVE -
[] feeling hungry
[] seeing a difference when fasting
[] shaking
[] being weak
[x] losing weight
[] being anorexic/bulimic
[] green tea
[] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself
APPEARANCE
[] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[]x I have/had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[] I have freckles.
FAMILY
[] I've sworn at my parents.
[x] I've run away from home.
[] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[] I've had children.
[] I've lost a child.
EMBARRASSMENT
[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[] Disney movies still make me cry.
[] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something
[] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[] I've had my trousers rip in public.
RELATIONSHIPS
[x] I'm single
[] I'm in a relationship.
[] I'm engaged.
[] I'm married.
[] I've gone on a blind date.
[] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[] I've cheated in a relationship.
[] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.
SEXUALITY
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[] I have kissed a stranger.
HONESTY
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[] I've been suspended from school.
BAD TIMES
[] I've consumed alcohol.
[] I regularly drink.
[] I can't swallow pills.
[] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time
[] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm upset.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[] I'm anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[] I'm addicted to self harm.
[x] I've woken up crying
[x] I've lost weight
[x] I've gained weight
[x] My weight holds me back
[x] Weight consumes me.
[] I'm at my thinnest SO FAR.
[]I'm at my biggest
[x] I've lost weight and kept it off
[x] I've lost weight but gained it back
[x] My weight affects my mood
[x] I weigh myself daily
[x] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me
[x] I thrive on compliments
[x] I feel bigger than people who are my size
[] I feel happy when I'm hungry
[x] I get depressed after I eat - ESP. if i ate too much or something unhealthy
[x] I've skipped a meal
[x] I've thrown food away
[x] I've spit food out
[] I've fasted
[]I've taken diet pills
[x] i've used laxatives
[] I've purged
HAVE/HAD
[] Bulimia
[] Anorexia
[] Ednos
[ ] Orthorexia
[] Over-exercising
[] Binge eating
[x] I exercise
[] I exercise so I can eat
[] I work out secretly
[] I work out daily
[] I exercise to counteract eating
[] I've fainted from exhaustion
I've done:
[] Weed
[] Cigarettes
[] Alcohol
[] Diet pills
[] Pain killers
[] Anti-depressants
[] Ecstasy
[] LSD
[] Mushrooms
[] Speed
[] Cocaine
[] Herion
[] Other
[x] I keep my eating habits a secret
[x] I have a ED blog
[x] I look at thinspo
[X] I collect thinspo
[x ] I condone pro-ana/mia sites
[x] I count calories
[x] I've had negative intake days
[x] I avoid food
[x] I hate food
[x] I love food
[x] I want to be this way
[x] I don't want to be like this
[x] I wish I could have more control
[x] Being thin is my top priority
[x] I don't want to get better
[] I am in treatment
[x] I'm doing this for me
[x] I'm doing this for someone
[x] I'm doing this to prove that i have control
[] ask if I’m bulimic
[x] call me fat
[x] say I’m skinny
[x] say I’m ugly
[x] say I’m pretty
[] spread rumors about me
[x] force me to eat
[x] say I eat too much
[x] wish I’d eat more
[?] don't know I'm anorexic/bulimic
I WISH -
[x] I was THIN
[x] I had a better body
[x] I didn't have to eat
[x] I could control myself
[] I was under 100 lbs
[x] I could avoid food
[x] I could hide what I am
[x] I wasn’t fat
[x] I was pretty
[] I could stop being ana/mia
I LOVE -
[] feeling hungry
[] seeing a difference when fasting
[] shaking
[] being weak
[x] losing weight
[] being anorexic/bulimic
[] green tea
[] diet pills
[x] being able to turn down food
[x] feeling good about myself
APPEARANCE
[] I am shorter than 5'4.
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[x] I have many scars.
[] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
[] I have a tattoo.
[x] I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[]x I have/had braces.
[x] I wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery
[x] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercings.
[x] I have piercings in places besides my ears.
[] I have freckles.
FAMILY
[] I've sworn at my parents.
[x] I've run away from home.
[] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[x] I want to have kids someday.
[] I've had children.
[] I've lost a child.
EMBARRASSMENT
[] I've slipped out a "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[] Disney movies still make me cry.
[] I've peed from laughing.
[x] I've snorted while laughing.
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[x] I've glued my hand to something
[] I've laughed till some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
[] I've had my trousers rip in public.
RELATIONSHIPS
[x] I'm single
[] I'm in a relationship.
[] I'm engaged.
[] I'm married.
[] I've gone on a blind date.
[] I've been the dumpee more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[x] I have a fear of abandonment.
[] I've cheated in a relationship.
[] I've gotten divorced
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x] I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[x] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[x] I've kept something from a past relationship.
SEXUALITY
[x] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[x] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[x] I am a cuddler.
[] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[] I have kissed a stranger.
HONESTY
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[x] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[] I've been suspended from school.
BAD TIMES
[] I've consumed alcohol.
[] I regularly drink.
[] I can't swallow pills.
[] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time
[] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[x] I shut others out when I'm upset.
[ ] I take anti-depressants.
[] I'm anorexic or bulimic or have EDNOS.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[x] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[] I'm addicted to self harm.
[x] I've woken up crying
[x] I've lost weight
[x] I've gained weight
[x] My weight holds me back
[x] Weight consumes me.
[] I'm at my thinnest SO FAR.
[]I'm at my biggest
[x] I've lost weight and kept it off
[x] I've lost weight but gained it back
[x] My weight affects my mood
[x] I weigh myself daily
[x] I am jealous of everyone smaller than me
[x] I thrive on compliments
[x] I feel bigger than people who are my size
[] I feel happy when I'm hungry
[x] I get depressed after I eat - ESP. if i ate too much or something unhealthy
[x] I've skipped a meal
[x] I've thrown food away
[x] I've spit food out
[] I've fasted
[]I've taken diet pills
[x] i've used laxatives
[] I've purged
HAVE/HAD
[] Bulimia
[] Anorexia
[] Ednos
[ ] Orthorexia
[] Over-exercising
[] Binge eating
[x] I exercise
[] I exercise so I can eat
[] I work out secretly
[] I work out daily
[] I exercise to counteract eating
[] I've fainted from exhaustion
I've done:
[] Weed
[] Cigarettes
[] Alcohol
[] Diet pills
[] Pain killers
[] Anti-depressants
[] Ecstasy
[] LSD
[] Mushrooms
[] Speed
[] Cocaine
[] Herion
[] Other
[x] I keep my eating habits a secret
[x] I have a ED blog
[x] I look at thinspo
[X] I collect thinspo
[x ] I condone pro-ana/mia sites
[x] I count calories
[x] I've had negative intake days
[x] I avoid food
[x] I hate food
[x] I love food
[x] I want to be this way
[x] I don't want to be like this
[x] I wish I could have more control
[x] Being thin is my top priority
[x] I don't want to get better
[] I am in treatment
[x] I'm doing this for me
[x] I'm doing this for someone
[x] I'm doing this to prove that i have control
Ana Boot Camp: Overview
So, Im thinking on starting the Ana Boot Camp. 50 days? I can deal. Here are the stats
1: 500 calories
2: 500 calories
3: 300 calories
4: 400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800
32: fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: fast
Im not so sure about the fasting...thats gona be hard. But I can do the Calories easy. Im going to start planning my food diary right now and then I'll get back to yall with the details.. :)
___________________________________________________________+edit
SO I got this chart right that show how much I'll weigh when if I east 500 calorie a day and it sounds promising!
To be In the 140's by NYAF would be AMAZING! Id look so great as Fran, but I might have to redo my costume!!! Even better would be to be in the 120s by Christmas!!! Im look smashing for my Birthday!
I just got Calorie King Nutrition & Exercise Manager. I uses to use it on my Palm years ago but not that I use Iphone it's kinda hard. The apps they have for Ipnoe are good but nothing beats the one for Palm. THEY NEED TO GET AN IPHONE EDITION!!!!!
1: 500 calories
2: 500 calories
3: 300 calories
4: 400 calories
5: 100 calories
6: 200 calories
7: 300 calories
8: 400 calories
9: 500 calories
10: fast
11: 150 calories
12: 200 calories
13: 400 calories
14: 350 calories
15: 250 calories
16: 200 calories
17: fast
18: 200 calories
19: 100 calories
20: fast
21: 300 calories
22: 250 calories
23: 200 calories
24: 150 calories
25: 100 calories
26: 50 calories
27: 100 calories
28: 200 calories
29: 200 calories
30: 300 calories
31: 800
32: fast
33: 250 calories
34: 350 calories
35: 450 calories
36: fast
37: 500 calories
38: 450 calories
39: 400 calories
40: 350 calories
41: 300 calories
42: 250 calories
43: 200 calories
44: 200 calories
45: 250 calories
46: 200 calories
47: 300 calories
48: 200 calories
49: 150 calories
50: fast
Im not so sure about the fasting...thats gona be hard. But I can do the Calories easy. Im going to start planning my food diary right now and then I'll get back to yall with the details.. :)
___________________________________________________________+edit
SO I got this chart right that show how much I'll weigh when if I east 500 calorie a day and it sounds promising!
| Day | Weight | Calories Used | Your Calorie Deficit |
| 07/21/2009 | 170.97 | 2257.11 | 1757.11 |
| 07/28/2009 | 167.47 | 2235.28 | 1735.28 |
| 08/04/2009 | 164.02 | 2213.73 | 1713.73 |
| 08/11/2009 | 160.61 | 2192.45 | 1692.45 |
| 08/18/2009 | 157.25 | 2171.42 | 1671.42 |
| 08/25/2009 | 153.92 | 2150.66 | 1650.66 |
| 09/01/2009 | 150.64 | 2130.16 | 1630.16 |
| 09/08/2009 | 147.39 | 2109.91 | 1609.91 |
| 09/15/2009 | 144.19 | 2089.92 | 1589.92 |
| 09/22/2009 | 141.03 | 2070.17 | 1570.17 |
| 09/29/2009 | 137.9 | 2050.66 | 1550.66 |
| 10/06/2009 | 134.82 | 2031.4 | 1531.4 |
| 10/13/2009 | 131.77 | 2012.38 | 1512.38 |
| 10/20/2009 | 128.76 | 1993.6 | 1493.6 |
| 10/27/2009 | 125.79 | 1975.05 | 1475.05 |
| 11/03/2009 | 122.86 | 1956.72 | 1456.72 |
| 11/10/2009 | 119.96 | 1938.63 | 1438.63 |
To be In the 140's by NYAF would be AMAZING! Id look so great as Fran, but I might have to redo my costume!!! Even better would be to be in the 120s by Christmas!!! Im look smashing for my Birthday!
I just got Calorie King Nutrition & Exercise Manager. I uses to use it on my Palm years ago but not that I use Iphone it's kinda hard. The apps they have for Ipnoe are good but nothing beats the one for Palm. THEY NEED TO GET AN IPHONE EDITION!!!!!
Motivations To Lose Weight
[Weight & Food Diary]
Today's Weight: 175
Goal Weight: 150lbs
Todays Food
Breakfast: 4 Pancakes , 1 Egg
Lunch: N/A
Dinner: Banquet Chicken Nugget Meal
Snacks (All Day): 1 Pack Hi-Chew, Chips Ahoy! Cookies
Daily Calorie Budget: 1328
Todays Total: ???
+____________________________________________________+
I want to lose weight in order to:
Today's Weight: 175
Goal Weight: 150lbs
Todays Food
Breakfast: 4 Pancakes , 1 Egg
Lunch: N/A
Dinner: Banquet Chicken Nugget Meal
Snacks (All Day): 1 Pack Hi-Chew, Chips Ahoy! Cookies
Daily Calorie Budget: 1328
Todays Total: ???
+____________________________________________________+
I want to lose weight in order to:
- fit into clothes better.
- feel better physically.
- satisfy someone else's request or demand.
- be more attractive to other people in general.
- be more attractive to my significant other.
- improve a certain relationship.
- inspire others to do the same.
- gain more respect or approval from others.
- start a new relationship.
- have a better self-esteem.
- relieve some of my moodiness, depression or anxiety.
- make my life feel like its going somewhere.
- have more day-to-day fun.
- be more independent.
- be less critical of myself.
- stop envying the life that others have.
- be more free of doubts and fears.
- feel more deserving of the good things I have in life.
- shed some of my shyness or discomfort around people.
- stop food from being a source of conflict in my life.
Skinny Jeans Aren't Ment For Fat People
[Weight & Food Diary]
Today's Weight:
Goal Weight: 150lbs
Todays Food
Breakfast: Pancakes, eggs, bacon
Lunch:
Dinner: Banquest Chicken Nugget Meal
Snacks (All Day):
Daily Calorie Budget: 1328
Todays Total:
+____________________________________________________+
Skinny Jeans Aren't Ment For Fat People. In fact they look really bad on fat people. Just because there called Skinny Jeans doesn't mean they make you skinny. Sknny Jeans look best on their name sake..Skinny People. Im size 6-8 but I think I look kinda bad in skinny jeans...I think I'll look good in them when I reach a size 2-4 and tone down my thighs. My thighs are an major issue with me. My legs would look longer if my thighs were leaner. Im so getting lipo when I get the money.
Today's Weight:
Goal Weight: 150lbs
Todays Food
Breakfast: Pancakes, eggs, bacon
Lunch:
Dinner: Banquest Chicken Nugget Meal
Snacks (All Day):
Daily Calorie Budget: 1328
Todays Total:
+____________________________________________________+
Skinny Jeans Aren't Ment For Fat People. In fact they look really bad on fat people. Just because there called Skinny Jeans doesn't mean they make you skinny. Sknny Jeans look best on their name sake..Skinny People. Im size 6-8 but I think I look kinda bad in skinny jeans...I think I'll look good in them when I reach a size 2-4 and tone down my thighs. My thighs are an major issue with me. My legs would look longer if my thighs were leaner. Im so getting lipo when I get the money.
Terracotta Angel: An Introduction of sorts
Hello, I am Lady Strange, today that is. I have a habit of changing names often to fit who I feel like at the moment.
I usually don't revel my age anywhere but for the sake of this blog I'll tell you my age this one time, but any mention of my age outside this post done by me unless it corresponds to what was said here is a lie. Im 16 years old and 7 months...Almost 17. I was Born January 11 1993, on a Very snowy Monday. Fair of Face and all that Jazz.
Im a nice and tall 5 foot 8 inches...The Minimum Modeling Height, and yes I have been scouted many times by many agencys but most notable are Ford Models and New Faces. However My parents scoff at the idea of modeling so my hopes were shot down. However this is one reason behind my new plan. My beautiful new plan. Want to know more about it, well listen up good.
I admit it. Im fat. Im so fucking fat it's not even funny. My height and body shapes balances the fat very evenly on my body but still who the hell want to see fucking 175 pounds when they go on a scale.
I realized I had hit a low point when I hit 190 lbs. I vowed from that day on to never ever in my life weigh that much again...I looked so bad in everything. I was so fucking ugly. My atrative face couldn't save me as it did in the past because I was just so fat. Now Im 175. But years ago when I first became weight consious. I went on a special program. I forgot how much I weighed but I went from a size 16 to a 6 and weighed 160 lbs at the end of it and I was in bliss. People have no idea how it feels to not have all that fat dragging you down.
Well anyway, the program ended and I ended up gaining 10 pounds and then yo-yoing between 160 and 170 since that point. I haven't weighed over 180 for a long while and I'll tell you this much the day I do or even get close, I'll do what ever it takes to get rid of it...fast.
Because of my frame and height I've set 2 goals to reach. First off I want to get from my curent weight to 150 lbs. If I feel happy at 150 Lbs (which I doubt) I'll drop to between 120-140 and thats it. My body has beautiful curves that I like so I don't want to be too skinny and lose them but I want to weigh less than my boyfriend. I want to be able to wear his clothes and have them fall off me, I want him to be able to just sweep me up instead of making an effort. Haha, that is when I get a boyfriend. Im single currently but thats not gona be for long if I have my way.
Im also a diabetic, so a big factor in why it's 10x harder for me to loose weight is because of the insulin. It make you gain and hold weight. I was very depressed about taking insulin at first, to the point that I just stopped taking it and then Out of now where I lost alot of weight. I found this out by accident but then when I reasearched it more I found out that alot of people reduse their insulin in order to lose weight..Now it's actually a bad thing to do and has very bad side effects that even I had to go through but when you see how nice you look in the mirror it just washes all that away.
Im bad, I hate needles so I don't take my insulin as I should. Im trying too but after years of neglect it;s a hard habit to kick. Im scared of gaining weight, but I also hate insulin reactions. So now Im trying to eat low sugar foods so I don't have to take insulin so often. My A1C Level is 15 and thats really bad. Im trying to get it to a low end normal range buy this time Next year. I don't want complications. I now have my reason to live.
I have though of dieing. I even tried to over dose on insulin but these are stories for another time. My new reason to live is that Im almost free from my parents, I gona be able to get a boyfriend soon, collage, and so much more.
Now, Im a bad blogger. I don't update like I should and what not like I used to do in the past. But I want to make this blog work for me. I have too! This is my life!
I named this blog "Teach Me How To Drown" after I beautiful picture I saw by a person nicknamed Blue Black on DeviantArt with the same title. I can't find it anymore but gosh that picture changed me.
Im also aware of the song by Unto Ashes but eh...My focus is on the picture. If you ahppen to have a copy saved on your drive....Get to contact with me and please send it to me...
I'll tell you more about me later but right now Im sleepy. I should also tell you that Im a Vampire. Fangs and All.. Rarw!
~Lady Strange, Your Terracotta Angel.
I usually don't revel my age anywhere but for the sake of this blog I'll tell you my age this one time, but any mention of my age outside this post done by me unless it corresponds to what was said here is a lie. Im 16 years old and 7 months...Almost 17. I was Born January 11 1993, on a Very snowy Monday. Fair of Face and all that Jazz.
Im a nice and tall 5 foot 8 inches...The Minimum Modeling Height, and yes I have been scouted many times by many agencys but most notable are Ford Models and New Faces. However My parents scoff at the idea of modeling so my hopes were shot down. However this is one reason behind my new plan. My beautiful new plan. Want to know more about it, well listen up good.
I admit it. Im fat. Im so fucking fat it's not even funny. My height and body shapes balances the fat very evenly on my body but still who the hell want to see fucking 175 pounds when they go on a scale.
I realized I had hit a low point when I hit 190 lbs. I vowed from that day on to never ever in my life weigh that much again...I looked so bad in everything. I was so fucking ugly. My atrative face couldn't save me as it did in the past because I was just so fat. Now Im 175. But years ago when I first became weight consious. I went on a special program. I forgot how much I weighed but I went from a size 16 to a 6 and weighed 160 lbs at the end of it and I was in bliss. People have no idea how it feels to not have all that fat dragging you down.
Well anyway, the program ended and I ended up gaining 10 pounds and then yo-yoing between 160 and 170 since that point. I haven't weighed over 180 for a long while and I'll tell you this much the day I do or even get close, I'll do what ever it takes to get rid of it...fast.
Because of my frame and height I've set 2 goals to reach. First off I want to get from my curent weight to 150 lbs. If I feel happy at 150 Lbs (which I doubt) I'll drop to between 120-140 and thats it. My body has beautiful curves that I like so I don't want to be too skinny and lose them but I want to weigh less than my boyfriend. I want to be able to wear his clothes and have them fall off me, I want him to be able to just sweep me up instead of making an effort. Haha, that is when I get a boyfriend. Im single currently but thats not gona be for long if I have my way.
Im also a diabetic, so a big factor in why it's 10x harder for me to loose weight is because of the insulin. It make you gain and hold weight. I was very depressed about taking insulin at first, to the point that I just stopped taking it and then Out of now where I lost alot of weight. I found this out by accident but then when I reasearched it more I found out that alot of people reduse their insulin in order to lose weight..Now it's actually a bad thing to do and has very bad side effects that even I had to go through but when you see how nice you look in the mirror it just washes all that away.
Im bad, I hate needles so I don't take my insulin as I should. Im trying too but after years of neglect it;s a hard habit to kick. Im scared of gaining weight, but I also hate insulin reactions. So now Im trying to eat low sugar foods so I don't have to take insulin so often. My A1C Level is 15 and thats really bad. Im trying to get it to a low end normal range buy this time Next year. I don't want complications. I now have my reason to live.
I have though of dieing. I even tried to over dose on insulin but these are stories for another time. My new reason to live is that Im almost free from my parents, I gona be able to get a boyfriend soon, collage, and so much more.
Now, Im a bad blogger. I don't update like I should and what not like I used to do in the past. But I want to make this blog work for me. I have too! This is my life!
I named this blog "Teach Me How To Drown" after I beautiful picture I saw by a person nicknamed Blue Black on DeviantArt with the same title. I can't find it anymore but gosh that picture changed me.
Im also aware of the song by Unto Ashes but eh...My focus is on the picture. If you ahppen to have a copy saved on your drive....Get to contact with me and please send it to me...
I'll tell you more about me later but right now Im sleepy. I should also tell you that Im a Vampire. Fangs and All.. Rarw!
~Lady Strange, Your Terracotta Angel.
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