For once Im blaming them and not me....

So Im making brownies for the boyfriend -if I can call him that- who leaving tomorrow to go to a sleepover party with the rest of my friends....

Its my teen years absolutely gone before my eyes. In fact Im not even sure I'll be able to see him off tomorrow. Thanks to the parents.

I've been given a new stupid fucked up answer as to why I can't step out of my front porch.

"You can't go anywhere because you might get sick."

I hate them, Im sorry, but I've been taking verbal abuse from them for too long and Im at the edge. I can't deal with it. I just can't but they've got wha they wanted already if they even wanted it. All my friends are rapidly drifting away from me now due to school, jobs and everything else that comes with adulthood. I accept thous things but I want to be able to spend what little time we have together every now and then. This sleepover was one of them and now I don't know.

For sometime now all I've been doing is biding my time till I can get a job and a place of my own. I don't want to be obigated to them anymore. If it comes to it I'll pay for school myself just to get rid of them.

Right now, Im trying not to spend any of my money but instead Im spending all of theirs. Yesterday I went into Macy's relling the mom Im only getting one shirt and then instead I got about 5-6. I would have gotton more but then she said for me to pay for them and she'll give me back the money but I don't believe her. So I droped the extra shirts.

The mom is also the one making me fat. At one point I was 160 and going down and she got mad and said for me not to loos anymore weight..WHAT!!!! but it all went downhill from there. and she kept forcing me to eat and I went up to 190....Sadist day of my life.....Thankfully Im down to 170+...but Im not happy....I want to see my self at 140...then at 120.....but I can't...she forces me to eat all the damn day and I can't escape......the dad changed the locks of my door and I know he has the other key....I know that its so he can barge into my room whenever......I hate it...

I want to see the boyfriend tomorrow before he goes.. I bought him a cute bear from France and chocolate pocky and now brownies for him to munch on...He's so thin and adorable. I wonder everyday why he chose me. but Im scared. Im not sure if I should call him my boyfriend to his face. All my friend say that were Married but Im scared. I want him to say it to me. To tell me that Im his girlfriend. It's just that I've been used by so manny in the past that I just want to hear confimation. I want him to send me the facebook request to change my relationship status...I don't want to be the dominate one in the relationship.. I just want to be his tiny litte dancer girl who do anything for him because he unlike so many others is just a good guy hands down.